Home...

I wsh I could say the reason you haven't found me on here was because I'd been on a wonderful trip , but that's not the case. It was a trip of sorts....

After a few weeks of being very weak and dropping too many pounds my docs decided to put me in the hospital for surgery for a feeding tube. ( ugh!). Once in the hospital it was more tests , more scans, more scopes and the outcome was pneumonia, a lung infection, more cancer and extreme fatigue.

I was in the hospital for 10 days and no going home unless I could manage the feeding tube ( I couldn't)and had a caregiver to take care of me. Hired a caregiver with experiene with feeding tubes and finally was able to go home.

So here I am, with the feeding tube and a feeding every 3 hours and this cargiver hovering about in this little apartment. There has been a total loss of my former life routines and all privacy. I hate it, but it is better than a nursing home which would have been my other option and that would have been a living hell for sure.

 I don't have much energy, sleep a lot, feel weak and hope I am gaining some weight. I'm on three different antibiotics every day for this lung infection which imitates TB,but isn't, but is just as hard to cure. ( my luck!)

It's the " June Gloom" here at the beach with fog all day long but that is fine with me.  Prefer that to being too hot with me in bed and all.

Reading? Have a lot of books but haven't felt well enough to read yet. I am just too tired. Mostly I get in bed and day dream , day dream about what it was like to be well and out and about and seeing friends and going places. The only place I have been is to the dentist. Now, that's a story , too.

When I came home from the hospital the next day my partial broke. No time for me to go out but off the caregiver and I went to see the dentist. Why did the partial break? I lost so much weight that my bite changed and my teeth were hitting in spots they never hit before. The partial got fixed but my bite is till off and driving me nuts with my teeth clicking against each other and some swallowing problems. Is this a gloomy post or what???

OKay, I'm tired, so that is it for now. Thanks to all who have written or called. I'm hanging in hoping to get stronger.

The cancer? All treatments have been canceled because I am not strong enough to tolerate them and since chemo isn't working, well, my prognosis isn't so good. I try not to think about that, it just makes me very nervous and anxious and a bit scared, too.

I'll try and get back on here sooner rather than later...