Ah, Valentine's day. It used to be, back in the days with my beau, a really fun holiday with lots of roses and a hand written card full of loving sentiments...... Now, I don't even anticipate any flowers coming my way, so was happily surprised to find a beautiful bouquet of tulips in red and pink outside my door.
A secret lover? Nah. My wonderful daughter Karen who always does just the right thoughtful thing. I remember she used to always send my mother pretty flowers on Valentine's Day, too, and it would just thrill my Mom. I missed my Mom a lot yesterday, thought about her a lot, thinking of what I would have sent her as a gift on Feb. 14th. She loved to get gifts, the more little packages the better, so always put together a little gift box and then would also send her flowers or a plant. She would be so delighted when I would call to wish her a happy day, and she would be happy. She would always end a call by saying to me, " don't ever forget how much I love you." I don't.
Love of a different kind... Years ago, not long after my father died, a friend of my Mom's took her shopping at a very high end shop in Palm Desert. She talked Mom into buying a short, double breasted, white leather jacket. After Mom got back to her condo she called me and I went over to see her purchase. The jacket was luscious, a soft wonderful leather and quite high style. Mom was having such guilt and second thoughts about buying that jacket.. it had cost so much, when would she wear it, etc.
I gave her a pep talk, told her how lovely the coat was, and she surely could wear it a lot, both to luncheons, out to dinner, always would be the crowning touch to her outfit. She kept the coat. Not only did she keep it, she loved it and she wore it all the time, and it always was just what I said it would be -- the crowing touch. I have so many photographs of her in that coat, accented with a pretty blouse or one of her many designer scarves.
Often when I visited Mom in Seattle in the last four years she tried to get me to take the coat. I kept telling her no , telling her that surely she would go out somewhere and want to wear it. Besides, that, I didn't think it would fit me, I was taller than Mom, surely the sleeves would be too short.
Last August when Mom took a turn for the worse and I was with her in her bedroom in Seattle, she once again told me to take her jacket, she hated to think that it would never be worn again. I told her it would be worn again, and by her, not taking it now, maybe on my next trip.
My next trip and time in her bedroom was when she died and I was cleaning out her closet. There hung the white leather jacket. I took it out and put it on, surprised that suddenly it fit me, in fact, it not only fit me, it was too big across the shoulders. My weight loss made me so small now, that even her small jacket was too large for me. I brought it back to Ventura with me, anyway. I couldn't bear to give it to Goodwill.
Yesterday I took the jacket and went to a tailor in Ventura, a tailor who told me what beautiful leather the jacket was. He also told me how it was too large for me but if he changed the shoulders, it would fit me.
So, the end of that story is, the jacket Mom loved, and I love, will soon be in my closet and a jacket I am sure I will turn to as the crowning look for some outfit. When I told my daughter Karen what I had done and how I soon would have Mom's jacket on me, she was so excited about it and told me, " It would make Nana so happy to know you are wearing her beloved coat."
Loving peace... I should be doing the rewrite on my book, but haven't had any desire to write. Much like losing my desire to paint... Maybe it has been my grief, maybe it has been the news that I'm not having a pet scan and that I gained five pounds.. not that urgent feeling that I have to finish the book NOW... instead I have taken a week to just read other people's books, be lazy, feel more relaxed.
So what have I read?
Just finished " The Senator's Wife." Since I bought it, it has gone on best seller lists. It's rather an odd book because I never liked the second lead person. I liked the Senator's wife and cared about her, but didn't give a hoot about the next door neighbor. The novel goes back and forth between these two women and their lives. The narrative bothered me a bit, too. And the ending? Think the author ran out of steam or ideas. Left me saying, " what the hell???" I'm not a book club or a famous day time talk show host, but take it from me and save your loot on this book.
An Anita Shreve book did that to me, once, too.. and because of that stopped buying her books.
Love the Brits... My Mom was born in London and we still have cousins living in London and other areas of the U.K. I've been over a few times, my parents went many times, my daughters have gone over. I love everything about the Brits and used to joke to my sons that I would run off with Jack the Ripper if he had a British accent.
A favorite cousin and his wife arrived in LA yesterday and we will get together on Monday for lunch or dinner. Haven't seen them since 1997 when I stopped in London before starting a month long car trip around the U.K. Looking forward to this visit. I'll take my camera along and hope to post some photos here.
I've taken the first step towards my rewrite... I moved the file box over next to my desk, and will start sorting chapters. I know myself well enough to know that once I start the editing I will get back in the swing and have fun with it. Stay tuned...
Alarms... The fire alarm just went off in my apartment. If you want something to get you up and moving, forget an alarm clock, have your fire alarm go off. We've all been told here that if the alarms go off, stay in your apartment cus the apartment doors have fire walls.. stay inside until you hear some instructions. Well, forget waiting for instructions. I looked through my peep hole. No smoke, no flames. Was the fire upstairs, down stairs? I stepped out in the hall and there was my neighbor. She'd gone down stairs to check it out. " It's just a drill, " she told me, " but at least they could have told us. How many elderly people do you think that scared?" Well, I'm not sure on the count on the elders here, but this one person who is 20 years younger than they are sure had a few moments of pure fear!
The Writers Strike is over... and that means I have kids who can stop sweating it, a daughter who will be glad to see her husband leave the house for work... and maybe, finally , something decent to watch on the telly.
My favorite show, " Boston Legal" never ran out of episodes. Did you watch it Tuesday night? Am I the only one getting a bit tired of the Denny Crane ongoing sexual stuff? Wearing a bit thin.
I have been watching a lot of my BBC favorite shows and discovered I get them on two different PBS stations so that laughter you hear is me laughing at Mrs. Bucket on " Keeping Up Appearances". I've seen almost all the episodes, but they never stop amusing me.
Time to head down and find out what dreadful food they are passing off as lunch here at " the home."
See you here again soon.
~Jan
The new addition is the dog... her name is Oreo and she is a puppy, loved and adored by my grand daughter Madison, age 12, pictured here with me and the little pup.
Makes me want to get a dog for my self. But, alas, no dogs allowed here, so will have to just lavish my attention on Maddie's little Oreo - - named for the cookie, of course.
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