Jan Curran Events

From Jan's Children

We are sad to report that after a long and valiant fight with cancer our mother passed away on Nov. 1st just after 8pm. She was surrounded by all of us and our spouses and died peacefully and without pain. Thanks to all who have called and send emails - we appreciate all of your support. As a tribute to our mother, and so readers of her book "Active Senior Living" can get to know her better, we are keeping this blog active.

Still here in Active Senior Living...

And ,still complaining about the food!

I , at the suggestion of another resident who is frustrated over the lousy menus and food served, I sent a letter to management saying specifics on bad meals.. meat so tough I couldn't chew it, another entree so spicey we all were in tears. So far nothing has happened from that effort.  It's funny, but some of the seniors are afraid to complain about anything because they are sure that will single them out and then their rent will be raised.

We all did get a 5% rental raise in January and for those of us who have been here a few years, it is starting to get very expensive. ( I'll have been here four years in July and can hardly believe that!). New people moving in are paying through the nose for apartments, too. A little studio apartment, about just the size of a bedroom and that's it, goes for close to three grand a month. I'm paying that for the largest one bedroom they have but got in on a lower rate when I moved in.. but still, boy it's a strain. If more than one person lives in the apartment they tack on another $500 to the rent.  Understand that our rates are pretty much the same as other active senior living places here in Ventura county. I have friends in the pacific northwest who pay half of what I am paying. It's that old real estate word to the wise.. location, location, location.

And this is a great location. My son Lee found this place for me and noted all that was so close.. within blocks.. places like Trader Joes, Barnes and Noble, supermarkets, places to dine, drug stores ,gas stations. In a year I haven't even put 500 miles on my car. To top that off, I am five minutes from the ocean. Can't beat that.

I'm a year older since you last read me on here..

My birthday was May 2 and that fell on a weekend so that meant that all four of my kids could come here to celebrate with me. It was a drive of less than an hour for Lee, Karen and Linda, but for Tod, it was a 3 1/2 drive from Palm Springs.I was very excited to get to be with them all, but even more so to get to see Tod and his Wendy since we so rarely get to see each other now that I live here.

We all met at an Italian restaurant on the harbor in Ventura. It was a beautiful day and we ate at one large outdoor table. It was just great and I loved every minute of being with my kids.

Both Lee and Tod got me the same gift, the Tom Nolan biography on Artie Show, which had just come out. Tod told me that the man who had reviewed the book for the New York Times was one of his professors from Bennington College in Vermont. Tod told him that the author had interviewed me for a few days back in 1996 and 2006 and that "maybe" I was in the book since Artie and I were friends for more than 20 years but more important for that book was the fact I was Artie's personal assistant when he and the orchestra went out on tour in the 80's. Well, the professor said.. " Your mom is all over that book!". To top that, the professor said that he had interviewed Artie the day before the orchestra opened at The Blue Note in New York City and he remembered meeting me. Small world, huh?

There are big sections of tales about me with Artie in the book. Made it really fun to read. If you are a big band fan, or just a fan of Artie Shaw's music ,then you'll want to read the book.. or go to your library, open the book to the index and you can read some of the pages about me.

A famous author wrote to me about my book..

One day I got an email from a famous author I don't know but whoes books I have read for years. He wrote to say he had bought "Active Senior Living" and  -- and this is his exact words.." I enjoyed it hugely!"

Got to tell you, that really made my day. My son Lee contacted him asking if we could use his quote on the cover of the next printing of the book but he had to decline saying he never gives out promos on books and was sorry. Well, at least I know he got the book and enjoyed it.

There are those who think I was too critical in my book  of how people looked when I first moved here, saying many were fat.

Truth is, they were fat. I'd never seen that many fat elderly people all at once before. It wasn't long before I found out how they had gained all that weight. They were still hungry after the main course at dinner.. had pushed most of it away as unedible.. and then filled up on cake or pie with ice cream, too.  Some would order two desserts and one set of sisters used to order three and I did write about them.

Those fat women I first met no longer live here. They have either moved on to some thing like a nursing home, assisted living, or passed away. Newer residents tend to fill up with yogurt , fruit or making a sandwich later in the evening in their apartment. Me? I eat popcorn from Trader Joe's.

Laughter is the best medicine..

I've been watching reruns of " All In The Family." Oh, how great they are. I laugh every night. The show is so much better than any of the sitcoms on now. Even the set design is such a delight.. a rotary dial telephone among the other things from way back when. So when you are watching some blood and guts or vampires on your t.v. you can picture me smiling at Edith Bunker.

 

 

 

 

 

Meanwhile back in Active Senior Living...

Today my table mate Dorothy turns 96.  She has no children, just a niece on the east coast, so six of us have grouped together to give her a little surpise birthday party.

Dorothy has all her marbles and more energy than I have. She walks two blocks every morning, reads the Wall Street Journal to keep up with all her stocks, and dresses up every night for dinner, looking like a living doll.

All of Dorothy's outfits are color cordinated and have matching costume jewels. When one of us compliments her on an outfit ,she will proudly announce that it is one she made herself, having sewn all her clothes for work.  She must have done a good job because she retired in 1974 and is still wearing those outfits she sewed herself.

Dorothy has been a widow for 30 years. She moved in to Active Senior iving when she turned 90 because her driver's license was up for renewal and she feared she would flunk the exam.  " I'm a good driver," she said, " but  I can't remember all those rules in the exam book, so guess I will sell my car and use the funds for cabs." .. which is what she did and does.

It's been my pleasure to sit next to Dorothy at dinner now for two years. She tells me wonderful stories about growing up on a farm in Oregon, a farm with no running water, no indoor plumbing.. real hardships but she says,  " I had such a great childhood, one of 8 kids, and life on the farm was always fun."

I think back to how frail my own mother was at 95 and am amazed at Dorothy - who it happens has the same name as my Mom.

Dorothy may be old enough to be my mom and I think that when I interact with her I always have that in the back of my mind..it could be my mom sitting there. Wish it was.

So tonight we will party and Dorothy will turn 96 and she will know that here at Active Senior Living she has a lot of people who love her and are onvinced she will make it to 100!  And, yes, she read my book and told me she laughed and laughed and also shed a few tears and loved it. Sure made me feel good!

 

New computer, new words...

I haven't written anything in a few weeks, not that I had writers' block, but more that my computer was freezing up on me, not allowing me to write more than a sentence at a time.  But, now, hello, I have a new HP computer and as I learn the ropes of it will try and dash off a bit of news from here at my Active Senior Living.

Claire and Bernie were married in 1950, had one child, a daughter and then divorced a few years ater. Each remarried , moved from here to other cities and rarely saw each other. Of course, there were the family events where they were more or less required to be together.. a daughter's wedding, the birth of a granchild, a graduaton..that sort of thing. Claire carried some sort of grudge, or dislike she never got rid of, and when they were together she was, by her own admission, rude to Bernie.

Okay, we jump ahead to modern times and both Claire and Bernie are widowed ,both in their 80's and both no longer able to live alone. They didn't need assisted living, but they needed what active senior living offered... housekeeping and other people around for a social life and the comfort of knowing there are people, other residens ,close by for comfort, support and friendship.

Their daughter moved Claire to my active senior living in May. Claire wasn't happy about the move ,hated to leave her home and the familiar things about living in San Francisco.. but her daughter lives here and her grandson and it meant being closer to them, so she moved and settled in.

Then, in September a new resident moved in. Bernie. His health was fragile, there were a few signs f dementia and his daughter wanted to keep a closer eye on him, so she decided the easiest thing for her was to have both of her parents living in the same building. And, maybe, I thought, the daughter carried the thought that maybe her parents would get back together.

Well, Claire was furious. Bernie was not.

" We grew up in the same town, went to the same University and married during our senior year," he said. " We share a daughter and a grandchild. I guess we have come full circle."

Bernie would ask Claire out for dinner. She would refuse. When their daughter or grandson came to visit they would sit together in the dining room or the lounge, but Claire stayed stubborn and basically rude to Bernie.

We all watched this playing out, and some of us -- okay, me -- kinda hoped they would get back together cus that would made a nice romantic end to their life story.

Last month Bernie tripped coming out of the elevator and broke his hip. After weeks in the hospital and some time in a rehab facility it was decided he had to move to assisted living and out of this building.

We all felt sorry for him. Well, not all. Claire didn't give a hoot, in fact, was all smiles when she heard he had to move to assisted living.

Made us all wonder what had happened back in the early 60's in their marriage that caused the divorce and made Claire carry all that anger so many years.

So, if like me, you were hoping for a happy ending to their story , there isn't one.

But,  I have another story of a hot romance going on in the building now and will share that with you n another day. No, my friends, it is not me in the love affair. I should be that lucky!

Nice news to share. My book, Active Senior Living is now up on Amazon in BOTH a Kindle edition and a print edition. It's taken a month or so for it to hit Amazon as a trade paperback, but now it's there. Go take a look, and if you haven't gotten a copy yet, here is a chance!

http://www.amazon.com/Active-Senior-Living-Jan-Curran/dp/0557273811

Enjoy!

Starting to feel like summer...

One of the nicest things about Ventura ,CA. is that it never gets too hot.

After years ( 25) of living in Palm Springs and facing temperatures at 120 or more some days, it was such a welcome relief to be here where a hot day meant maybe 80. And those days were far and few.. with the average temperature around 70. Almost ideal. Summer usually means a few hot days, but also a lot of days of fog.

Well, right now , this week we haven't had any fog but we sure have had the hot days and I'm not too pleased about it. Hard to take a nap when it is hot in here. To me, a nap means getting under my mom's " nap time" quilt for an hour or so.  She used it for years and after she passed away I took the quilt and sent it back to Ventura and put it at the foot of my bed.  So, a nap means using that and thinking of good times with my mom.

Mom would surely laugh if I could tell her about the time I spent with a new resident, Dale, the other day.

I was sitting in the lobby lounge with my buddy Larry, just passing the time of day before we went in to dinner when Dale came over and sat down on my other side and began talking to me.

"Do you like movies?" he asked.

" Yes, " I said.

Dale was all smiles. " You know, they show a movie here every night upstairs in the media room. I could come to your apartment and get you and we could go together. How about if we do that tonight?"

" No thank you," I said.

" It's an hour before dinner. Let's go to the park. I still drive and my car is out in front. Come on," he said , reaching for my arm.

I pulled my arm away and said, " No, thank you, I don't want to go to the park."

Dale leaned in closer, as if he had a secret to tell me.  " Do you have a DVD player?"

" Yes, why?"

" I have a lot of movies. I could bring one to your apartment tonight. It's more fun if you watch a DVD with someone else. What time should I come over?"

" I'm not interested in watching a DVD with you," I said, leaning away from him.

" Well, then," he said, all smiles again, " Let's just go to the park together. They have benches and we could sit together and just enjoy the sunshine."

" My answer is still no," I said , hoping my tone showed that I had enough of his asking me to do something with him.

"What's your apartment number?" he asked. " I'll just come over tonight and we can visit or watch t.v. together."

"I'm not giving you my apartment number," I said , " I don't want you to come over so get that idea out of your head."

Larry who had been sitting quietly and listening to all this began to laugh. Dale looked at him, as if noticing him for the first time.

" And who are you?" Dale asked.

" I'm Larry and I don't want to watch a DVD with you, or go to a movie, or sit together to watch t.v. and don't ask me to go to the park, either."

Well, I burst out laughing at Larry's response to Dale.  Dale, on the other hand, didn't find it funny and stood up, putting his hand on my shoulder. " If you change your mind and you want to get together after dinner just give me a call. I'm in apartment 104."

And with that parting request he left the lounge area.

" I think you made a conquest, " Larry said.

We were still laughing as we headed in to dinner.

 

Meanwhile back at the Inn...

94 year old Marge showed up in the dining room without her choppers this morning. She went from table to table looking at each of us ,not in the eye, but in the mouth, to ask, " Have you seen my teeth?"

No one had.

"It's against the rules to leave your dentures in a glass on the table," said Baron.

"If you did that, the wait staff probably tossed them out."

" But, I didn't leave my teeth in here," Marge said. " I think someone has stolen them."

" Check the lost and found box at the concierge's desk, "  Larry suggested.

When Marge had left the room , Betsy said, " she's getting a lot of short term memory loss. Her kids want her to move to assisted living, but she is refusing."

" Why?" I asked, " the expense or that fear of it being God's waiting room?"

" Neither," Betsy said. " You can't have booze in your room at assisted living, so that's why she won't move."

"Oh," I said ,nodding with the knowledge that Marge liked a bit of Scotch in the eight glasses of water she faithfully drank each day.

Drinking among the seniors is a problem at Active Senior Living, but that's another story for another day.

 

 

After "baked loin of cod" ...

After baked loin of cod as our menu choice last night ... and who ever knew cod had loins, I expected tonight's choice  to  be roasted leg of Rainbow Trout.  Our chef is very creative and not always in a good way. His seasoning of choice is always jalapeno and gravy is on everything. Same gravy, no matter was the entree is.  I've gotten used to eating cold mashed potatoes, over cooked beef and chicken that is less than tender but the good news is I haven't lost any weight.  Maybe that is because I do the feeding tube for breakfast and most days for lunch , too, and that gives me some good calories.

When we are served a meal that is less than desirable I am reminded of what my friend Ed told me ( and I put in the book Active Senior Living) and that was that he figured the  food budget per resident was about $7 a day. " it's like Boy Scout camp," he had said, " only here we have indoor plumbing."

I've talked to residents at other active senior complexes and it is the same story everywhere.. not just here and not just in California. The food tends to be the least most attractive thing about the place. But , as my friend Betsy says, " we didn't have to go get the groceries, cook the meal, clear the table or do the dishes. They can cook it any way they want and it's fine with me!"

Moving on to  other things.. had two doctor appointments this week. The first was with a dermatologist cus I had/have a spot on my bridge of my nose that was rough skin that would not smooth out no matter how many creams I put on it. I tried the cheap drug store stuff, I tried Chanel.. nothing did the trick. He burned off the spot so now it is all red and blistering but doesn't hurt anything other than my vanity. And it was not cancer. Whew.

My other appointment was with my oncolgoist  ,my regular monthly appointment, get the blood checked, listen to my lungs, talk to me about how I am feeling. I am not in any pain, my weight is staying stable, it's been a year since the tumor in my liver was found and so far , so good... I'm still here and we take it one day at a time knowing full well that there is not treatment options for me any more. I have tried every chemo there is and there are none left for me to try that would hit this cancer, so I do take it one day at a time and am having fun with the Active Senior Living book and reading the terrific comments that readers are leaving on Amazon.com for the kindle. The print edition is still not on Amazon, you have to order it from lulu.com... but it should be up on Amazon in a few weeks. For the fun of it, go type my name into Amazon search and the book comes up and then click on the 14 reviews and read what readers are saying. it's fun. So is reading the comments on the discussion page about the book. People are asking for a sequel so I am starting to make a lot of notes and will start writing soon.

The author luncheon last week? I loved it. Son Lee was the star if you ask me. He had the audience howling with laughter and if writing doesn't always work out for him he could always be a stand up comic... he's that funny.

Lisa See was also a speaker and very good. I'm following her on twitter while she is on her book  tour for 'Shanghi Girls" so her tweets are so very interesting. She's a really nice gal, knows both of my sons and thinks Tod is one hell of a writer... and that I have a very talented family. She put that on Twitter, too... Nice to read that. She wrote about how funny Lee was ,too.

I think someone ought to haul Gloria Allred off to a lockup .. imagine wanting an apology from Tiger for her porno star client when the apology should come from the porno gal to Tiger's wife.

I'm haing trouble getting this typepad to follow my keystrokes.. it is running about three spaces behind me all the time and then I have to back track and rewrite and it is really stilting my prose here so going to log off and hope it reads well enough for you to at least get an idea of what is new here.

Happy talk...

Happy to report that nothing hurts, nothing is infected, the rent has been paid, the housekeeper comes tomorrow, the visiting nurse arrives on Friday and sales of Active Senior Living continue to do well.

What's really neat are those reviews on the kindle page on Amazon. Who are these people? A bunch of lovely people is who they are, taking the time to leave great words of praise for the book. Rather thrilling. Even more thrilling since they are all strangers.

This just came in on the Active Senior Living blog... from another writer, someone I do know... Ann Shields who writes a blog for the Ventura Star and used to write a column for the LA Times and who I met at the Santa Barbara Writers Confab about 1977.  Read on..

Great read, Jan. Kept me up at 5 a.m. two mornings in a row. You took us from frustrations at coping with new surroundings in a new town, smaller living space, geriatric central as your Inn-mates. But you did more than cope, you made it your own world, open to the challenges, accepting your situation with grace and humor. The people who shared this life with you were endearing, quirky, domatic and sweet. What a great place to be through the ups and downs of your cancer nemesis, with love and comfort from all these fellow Inn-mates who nurtured you. Cheers to the foursome who adopted you. The Special fondness for Ed. Seems that the Inn changed you and you managed to change the place. Serendipity in action. Wish my mom were alive so I could buy your book for her. She would have loved it. Your local pal, Ann

Well, thanks so much , Ann. Your words mean a lot to me. A pro giving good feedback is priceless.

Cousin Dave in Wisconsin who I often share book news with and who is a retired former p.r. and public affairs writer plus a journalist at newspapers in his past got his copy of the book and is enjoying it so much he is going to suggest it to the book club at his senior center where he is a volunteer. Thanks Dave!

The book isn't on Amazon or Barnes and Noble yet as a print buy ,only for the Kindle, so one has to go to Lulu. com to get it, but that's very simple to do.

Next Monday son Lee is one of the featured authors at the Assistance League of Ventura County annual authors event. Author speak, then one dines, then we all stand in line to get our books autographed. I know my table is front and center and I do get to sit with Lee so if my oxygen compressor holds on for over two hours it will be super duper. Really looking forward to this event.

The next book I plan to read is called, " The Help". It's gotten so many rave reviews. I'll order it from Amazon.com.

Anyone else ordering it or read it yet?

A woman here suggested the  Inn provide transportation to the casino outside of Santa Barbara. Can see it all now.. a line up of seniors, with their walkers, staking out slots. What a hoot. Maybe the idea for me to write a sequel to Active Senior Living is not such a bad idea!

 

Happy to report the Tramadol is working great , took away the pain and did not make me feel drunk. More good news -- my skin infection around the feeding tube finally, after almost three months, cleared up! And on the book front, Active Senior Living continues to rack up the sales on Kindle and with some good reviews, too. For those who want a print copy , you still need to go to lulu.com. Book will be on Amazon but not for a few weeks yet.
Off to lunch today with my friend Ann Shields who I met at the Santa Barbara Writers Conference back in 1977. She read each chapter of Active Senior Living as I wrote them and gave me fantastic feedback and great editing ideas.