Jan Curran Events

Packing...

I'm Packing and with stuff all over the bed ...

Packing is one of those chores, like unloading the dishwasher, that I hate. I ALWAYS take too much, even if I am just going somewhere overnight.  Life long fault.  I remember once ,years ago, I was packing for Hawaii and must have had three bags lined up, one for each week I would be gone. My photographer at the Desert Sun Newspaper , a great gal named Lynn Ryder, came over, took one look at the suitcases and said, " Okay, eliminate two of the three.  You'll have a washer and dryer, you will want to buy clothes....  now repack!" and I did, and she was right.

This time, this trip to PS, I don't want to be doing laundry - -although since  I have been known to toss in a load almost daily will no doubt succumb to the washer and dryer -- but, once again, I know I have packed too much. Long pants, short pants, long sleeves, short sleeves, bathing suits, coverups -- you'd think I was going to be there a month.  And in the back of my mind, I do harbor thoughts of next year and of me going for a month -- almost cheaper to rent a place for a month than for a week or two.

I found a great site on the web, you might want to jot this down for your future vacations. VRBO and then the city or area you want. These are all vacation rentals by owners and you deal directly with them, and it has been a really pleasant experience ( so far!) dealing with my individual condo owner.  There were a ton of places to chose from, from Palm Springs all the way to Indio.  I settled on PS even though my son Tod lives in La Quinta.  I thought it might be fun to stay back downtown and be able to walk to places to eat or shop.  Now, I haven't lived in Palm Springs in a long time... I spent the five years before I moved here living in La Quinta and most of my friends have settled out at that end of the Coachella Valley now, too.

Speaking of that site, VRBO, my cousin David in Minn. reports he also used them and got a condo in San Diego through that site and his experience was pretty good.

I'm going to be in a two bedroom, two bath, which is a waste of a bedroom and a bath. I thought maybe one of my kids from this area would like to come down for a weekend, but they are all busy.. Lee jetting off to New York for the Edgar Award meetings, Karen to San Diego for a trial she is busy being the lawyer, Linda just plain busy..........  maybe my friend Lori who lives in Palm Desert will come and stay overnight one night. That would be fun. A grown up slumber party.

I haven't checked the weather yet, but son Tod tells me be prepared for HOT..  yee gads. Here when it is 75 I have the ac on.  What will I do in over 100?  Stay indoors or in the pool, I assume.

I'm packing books to read by the pool ---  that one that is one the bestseller list, " Remember Me?" by Sophie Kinsella... a mystery by Harley Jane Kozak ( she's a friend of my son Lee's and I like her books a lot  - - easy reading and no gory murders to scare me).. and then the book, " Water for Elephants" about life in a circus...  I know, I'm probably the last person to get that book, been on best seller lists forever.  Sounds like a nice assortment, doesn't it?

Okay, time to go give my attention back to the packing.  Now, who the heck is going to lift my suitcase up to the back of my Honda CRV?  I can never lift it.  Last time I had to haul a suitcase in that car ,had to get one of the waiters here to help me load up. Guess I will have to do that on Sunday morning, too.  That trying to get a suitcase in that back of a CRV is a real bitch of a thing to do --- that would hold me back from ever buying that model again... that and the fact it is the most uncomfortable car on the road!

Hope some of you are in LA and will go get books signed by my four kids at the LA Times Festival of Books -- look for Linda Woods and Karen Dinino at the Borders booth, Tod Goldberg and Lee Goldberg in a booth right near that, and then check the programs for when Tod is speaking or leading a panel.

~Jan

What's new...

Here in Ventura...

Just finished reading the LA Times and the program for the annual Festival of Books and it's such a nice feeling to see my kids listed and Tod with his two panels. Those kids have come a long way from the days they used to go just as book lovers and not as the authors featured.  It's great.

Okay , I bit the bullet and rented a condo in PS for a week. I'm going on the 27 and will be back on the 4th which means I will turn a year older while I am in the desert cities.  Plans are being made for some lunches with pals, some dinners with pals, and I'm banking on time at the pool to just float around and be lazy.  I'm staying at Villa Alejo which doesn't mean anything to you, but to me it is where my parents and then just my Mom lived for about 25 years.  It will seem very odd, and no doubt sad, to be there without my Mom,but on the other hand, may be comforting to be where she used to be.

I'm not looking forward to the drive -- 31/2 to 4 hours depending on traffic and how long a stop I make for lunch - and yeah, it will be much warmer there. I'm sitting wearing a sweater here today and I'm sure my friends in the desert are wearing tank tops today cus it is much warmer there. Here we have the typical beach weather with some fog in the mornings and pretty cool days -- which I have learned to like.  Will I be able to handle that desert heat?  Not been back in over a year. This will be a real test.

When I come back --  on May 8 I see the oncolgoist and we set the date for my PET scan which, of course, I shall be dreading.  But, until then, going to try and have a good time in the desert and know I have a busy week here before I leave.

If you are in the SF Bay Area hope you were able to go to my daughter Linda ( visualchronciles.com) book signing yesterday or are planning on seeing her today... and for those of you in LA hope you will go to son Lee ( leegoldberg.com) book signing on Thursday night and then to all four kids and their signings at the Festival of Books next weekend at UCLA.

Been practicing with my new digital camera and hope I have the darn thing mastered before I head out next Sunday so I can take a lot of nostalgic photos in the desert.

Now, to crack open a box of Matzo and do the Passover bit............

~Jan

Lazy days and daze...

I'm back...

Not that I have been away, just been so busy reading other people's blog, never take the time to post on mine... I seem to pale in comparison in what to relate.

What's new here?  Well, off the top of the reel some nice news. Dr. decided not to do my next PET scan until sometime in May which was a nice " Whew!" for me cus you know how I dread those tests.  My weight is still hanging in at 115 which prompted the doctor to say, " you wear it well," which I guess means it is okay for me to still be 15 pounds under my old ideal weight.  My blood work was fine, my lungs sounded correct so on we go until May.

Before my doctor appointment had a fun lunch with my two daughters and grand daughter Emily. Daughter Linda ( visual chronicles.com) has a fun thing she does, she takes pictures in mirrors, which doesn't sound like fun, but trust me -- it prompts a lot of giggles.  We four got together in front of a mirror in a deli bathroom and it was one of those one stall bathroom so I wonder what other restaurant patrons thought.

Here we are... Me, Linda, Karen, and Emily, Karen's 13 year old daughter.

I think if you click on it it will get bigger. If not, just take out your reading glasses.

Cousin Dave... was in California, visiting from St. Paul. We met up at son Lee's ( leegoldberg.com) to go out to lunch and took this shot out in Lee's back yard with the views of all of LA... 

That's Dave's friend Roger on the left, me, and cousin Dave.

It's Easter weekend and that means I can go to daughter Karen's tomorrow for a family brunch.  The boys, Lee and Tod, won't be there. Lee is on a road trip in Northern California and Tod is at home in La Quinta...  Wish they could be there, too.

Checked flights from here -- or Burbank, or LAX or Santa Barbara to get to Walla Walla cus been thinking of going up for a week.  One could get to Europe easier and with a direct flight, too.  Will talk to a few friends and debate about flying as far as Portland, Oregon and then driving... need to see what is going on in Walla Walla and if my buddy Charlie would be willing to come to PDX to get me or not.  It's a haul no matter what.

Been Reading...

Finished off " The Commoner" and liked it a lot, mostly for the information on Japan and life there... book is very good in the first half, rather drops off in the second half and has a stupid ending.. but noted it has made the NYTimes best seller list.  Now, although I am behind the times, I am just now getting in to Sue Grafton's " T is for Trespass" -- starts out very good, it got good reviews, so sure it will be a fun quick read to pass some hours.

I'm rather tired of all the sex stories about the governors coming out of the east.  I think Mrs. Spitzer should have just grabbed the mic and said, " you slime-ball.." but if she believes in for better or for worse, and how much worse could this get, then maybe she will hang in there and try get him some therapy help and save her marriage.  Felt very sorry for her. On the other hand, she could have just pulled out a gun and shot him and there isn't a jury in the world, made up of women, of course, that wouldn't have let her off the hook!

Ladies, have you checked out the web site, wowowo?  It's rather fun, set up by some power women and has a question of the day, some good feature pieces -- well, at least so far.

Now that I am learning how to use my new digital camera will try and post more photos on here more often, and , yeah, try to be a better poster, too........

Not too much longer and "Boston Legal" will be back... finally some decent t.v. again.

Okay, Jan Curran has left the room.

Thanks for stopping by.

A new family member..

We've got a new family member... and adorable, at that.  I'll post a photo so you can judge for yourself..

The new addition is the dog... her name is Oreo and she is a puppy, loved and adored by my grand daughter Madison, age 12, pictured here with me and the little pup.

I think I have a better shot of the dog. Hold on. Oh, you know to click on the photo to get an enlarged view, don't you?

Makes me want to get a dog for my self.  But, alas, no dogs allowed here, so will have to just lavish my attention on Maddie's little Oreo - - named for the cookie, of course.

I haven't any photos to put here yet from the visit with the British cousins. I'm waiting for daughter Linda to post them on her Flickr page, then will steal a few and put on here.

Yesterday was my son Lee's 46th birthday. I had planned on making the drive to Calabasas and seeing him but we are in the midst of stormy weather so we decided to wait until the weather is better. Made me think that if  I lived in Seattle my entire social life would be on hold with all the rain they get there.  Yet, do miss Seattle and my visits there.... didn't really mind the rain cus I tended to stay in and warm and dry when it was pouring.

Okay, time for me to go read my kids' blogs so I know what is going on in their lives...   You might do the same, it's always entertaining....

No romance here...

Ah, Valentine's day.  It used to be, back in the days with my beau, a really fun holiday with lots of roses and a hand written card full of loving sentiments...... Now, I don't even anticipate any flowers coming my way, so was happily surprised to find a beautiful bouquet of tulips in red and pink outside my door.

A secret lover? Nah.  My wonderful daughter Karen who always does just the right thoughtful thing. I remember she used to always send my mother pretty flowers on Valentine's Day, too, and it would just thrill my Mom.   I missed my Mom a lot yesterday, thought about her  a lot, thinking of what I would have sent her as a gift on Feb. 14th. She loved to get gifts, the more little packages the better, so always put together a little gift box and then would also send her flowers or a plant.  She would be so delighted when I would call to wish her a happy day, and she would be happy. She would always end a call by saying to me, " don't ever forget how much I love you."  I don't.

Love of a different kind...  Years ago, not long after my father died, a friend of my Mom's took her shopping at a very high end shop in Palm Desert. She talked Mom into buying a short, double breasted, white leather jacket.  After Mom got back to her condo she called me and I went over to see her purchase. The jacket was luscious, a soft wonderful leather and quite high style. Mom was having such guilt and second thoughts about buying that jacket.. it had cost so much, when would she wear it, etc.

I gave her a pep talk, told her how lovely the coat was, and she surely  could wear it a lot, both to luncheons, out to dinner, always would be the crowning touch to her outfit.  She kept the coat.  Not only did she keep it, she loved it and she wore it all the time, and it always was just what I said it would be  -- the crowing touch.  I have so many photographs of her in that coat, accented with a pretty blouse or one of her many designer scarves.

Often when I visited Mom in Seattle in the last four years she tried to get me to take the coat.   I kept telling her no , telling her that surely she would go out somewhere and want to wear it.  Besides, that, I didn't think it would fit me, I was taller than Mom, surely the sleeves would be too short.

Last August when Mom took a turn for the worse and I was with her in her bedroom in Seattle, she once again told me to take her jacket, she hated to think that it would never be worn again.  I told her it would be worn again, and by her, not taking it now, maybe on my next trip.

My next trip and time in her bedroom was when she died and I was cleaning out her closet. There hung the white leather jacket.  I took it out and put it on, surprised that suddenly it fit me, in fact, it not only fit me, it was too big across the shoulders. My weight loss made me so small now, that even her small jacket was too large for me.  I brought it back to Ventura with me, anyway. I couldn't bear to give it to Goodwill.

Yesterday I took the jacket and went to a tailor in Ventura, a tailor who told me what beautiful leather the jacket was.  He also told me how it was too large for me but if he changed the shoulders, it would fit me. 

So, the end of that story is, the jacket Mom loved, and I love, will soon be in my closet and a jacket I am sure I will turn to as the crowning look for some outfit.  When I told my daughter Karen what  I had done and how I soon would have Mom's jacket on me, she was so excited about it and told me, " It would make Nana so happy to know you are wearing her beloved coat."

Loving peace...  I should be doing the rewrite on my book, but haven't had any desire to write. Much like losing my desire to paint...  Maybe it has been my grief, maybe it has been the news that I'm not having a pet scan and that I gained five pounds.. not that urgent feeling that I have to finish the book NOW...  instead I have taken a week to just read other people's books, be lazy, feel more relaxed.

So what have I read?

Just finished " The Senator's Wife."  Since I bought it, it has gone on best seller lists.  It's rather an odd book because I never liked the second lead person.   I liked the Senator's wife and cared about her, but didn't give a hoot about the next door neighbor.  The novel goes back and forth between these two women and their lives.  The narrative bothered me a bit, too.  And the ending?  Think the author ran out of steam or ideas.  Left me saying, " what the hell???"  I'm not a book club or a famous day time talk show host, but take it from me and save your loot on this book.

An Anita Shreve book did that to me, once, too..   and because of that stopped buying her books.

Love the Brits... My Mom was born in London and we still have cousins living in London and other areas of the U.K.  I've been over a few times, my parents went many times, my daughters have gone over.  I love everything about the Brits and used to joke to my sons that  I would run off with Jack the Ripper if he had a British accent.

A favorite cousin and his wife arrived in LA yesterday and we will get together on Monday for lunch or dinner. Haven't seen them since 1997 when I stopped in London before starting a month long car trip around the U.K.  Looking forward to this visit. I'll take my camera along and hope to post some photos here.

I've taken the first step towards my rewrite... I moved the file box over next to my desk, and will start sorting chapters.  I know myself well enough to know that once I start the editing I will get back in the swing and have fun with it.  Stay tuned...

Alarms... The fire alarm just went off in my apartment. If you want something to get you up and moving, forget an alarm clock, have your fire alarm go off.  We've all been told here that if the alarms go off, stay in your apartment cus the apartment doors have fire walls.. stay inside until you hear some instructions.  Well, forget waiting for instructions.  I looked through my peep hole. No smoke, no flames. Was the fire upstairs, down stairs?  I stepped out in the hall and there was my neighbor. She'd gone down stairs to check it out.  " It's just a drill, " she told me, " but at least they could have told us. How many elderly people do you think that scared?"  Well, I'm not sure on the count on the elders here, but this one person who is 20 years younger than they are sure had a few moments of pure fear!

The Writers Strike is over... and that means I have kids who can stop sweating it, a daughter who will be glad to see her husband leave the house for work... and maybe, finally , something decent to watch on the telly.

My favorite show, " Boston Legal" never ran out of episodes.  Did you watch it Tuesday night?  Am I the only one getting a bit tired of the Denny Crane ongoing sexual stuff?  Wearing a bit thin.

I have been watching a lot of my BBC favorite shows and discovered I get them on two different PBS stations so that laughter you hear is me laughing at Mrs. Bucket on " Keeping Up Appearances".  I've seen almost all the episodes, but they never stop amusing me.

Time to head down and find out what dreadful food they are passing off as lunch here at " the home."

See you here again soon.

~Jan

Good news , good events, and gains...

Hi on Thursday in sunny Ventura where it is to hit 62 degrees today...

It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood, in fact, it has been a beautiful week so far.  Can we go back and say the week began last Friday cus that is the day I went to meet daughter Karen and her family for a school function. 

The school function was fun, Karen made me a casserole to take back home with me, and the best part, aside from seeing the grandkids and having time with Karen was that the clock struck 9, I was still out and for the first time in a few years , I didn't feel like I had to get in bed or cry.  In fact, I was still, I think, alert and able to put together a few words to make a sentence!

Monday... Last year, about this same time, my friend Ann invited me to an Assistance League of Ventura author luncheon. Oh, it sounded like fun, and I was eager to go and meet some new people , but when the date rolled around, I was in the midst of daily radiation treatments and had to cancel out.   A few months ago she gave me a "save the date" notice for the event this year and I said okay, but with reservations, that never ending fear that the big C would return and I would be in treatment again and not able to go.  Well, as you know, I was not in treatment, was able to go and it was a lot of fun.

Ventura doesn't have the glamor of events in the desert ( think valet parkers, fabulous decor and menus)  or the historic atmosphere of something in D.C. ( think the Building Museum or the Library of Congress or Mt. Vernon).... but that aside, this event was well organized, had a huge turnout and was an entertaining and fun day.

So, with that event under my belt and still with the good vibes from my Friday in Westlake Village with family, the week was off to a good start.

Tuesday  I woke up to bright sunshine, blue skies and an itch to do something.  That alone is a something new for me cus most days in the last year and a half I woke up wanting to go back to bed.  So, what did I do, you ask?  I got in my car and drove to Santa Barbara.  I went alone, but I don't mind my own company.  The drive was breathtaking with the ocean on one side of the car and snow topped mountains in my view on the other side.   I made it from my door to a parking place in Montecito in a half hour.  Talk about an easy drive, wow.

I didn't do anything very exciting, but it was wonderful.  I got a sandwich to go in a favorite deli ( from my27 years annual summer experience in Montecito for the Santa Barbara Writers Conference)... took my lunch to a little park, sat and enjoyed the fresh air, the flowers, the energy of Montecito ( could it be all that money???).

Then I moved my car to another favorite Montecito neighborhood and did some window shopping, more people watching. By the time I came home in the early afternoon I felt terrific, energized, relaxed, mellow.

Wednesdayy brought an email from son Lee ( leegoldberg.com) that he was coming down for the day, lunch together and then we'd go shopping for a new t.v. for me.  My current set works fine, but it is about 20 years old with a screen that was 20" and the set is cumbersome and ugly and heavy and took up a lot of space in my bedroom.

Lee had gone price shopping and brand comparing before he got here, so when we set out to shop we had already decided to go with a Sharp, slim line, in either a 27" or 32" at Costco.  Gosh, it's hard to figure on which to get, isn't it?  They look so  big in the store. Ended up with the 27", could have gotten the 32" and it would have worked fine, but was afraid it would be too big.

I'm happy with the new set, one of the housekeeping staff here took the old set off my hands and by evening, I was in my bedroom, happy as can be, watching a sharper picture and feeling like I had more space in this little room.  Best of all was the time spent with Lee and the time he spent programming the remote, and the set and showing me how to use everything and not feel like a technical idiot.

Then he also programmed my computer for a new slim digital camera I have, sorted out files on my computer and made it all so much easier for me. I am an idiot when it comes to computers and unless Lee or my son Tod ( todgoldberg.com) is in the room, I'm stuck.

So that was four great days and  I didn't think Thursday would be as great, in fact was dreading the day today cus it was the time for my 6 week checkup with the oncologist and I was afraid she would order a PET scan or say I had lost weight, or she didn't like my blood work or blood pressure.

Well, cheer , my friends.

Blood work was perfect, blood pressure was great, and ... tra la la... I gained five pounds!! First weight gain in almost two years.  I was thrilled.

And... she said, " I see no reason to order tests now..." which means no CAT SCAN or PET SCAN.

She talked to me about how much stress she felt I had been under back when I was in radiation and trying to fly back and forth to Seattle all the time to be with Mom, then while doing recovery under the stress of the daily worry about Mom, the flights back and forth again to be with her, then the stress of her death and the grief process.

Now that stress is behind me and it shows.  I look better, she said, my color is good, I'm gaining weight and the fact that I went to Santa Barbara/Montecito and wasn't worried about sudden fatigue or legs that felt like rubber was a great sign that   I am recovering.

I go back in six weeks but for now can relax knowing that over all I am on the path of recovery.  ... and  I can watch movies on my new t.v., go for walks and not worry so much about not having strength in my legs.

Don't you agree, things are surely looking better.

Oops, forgot I wanted to insert this picture up where I talked about going to the author luncheon. It's me and my friend Ann, taken at the luncheon and that big smile is because I was OUT!!

Here you go. I'm the one with the dark hair... Click to enlarge the photo.

Wanna see a few photos?

Hi,

Been awhile since I put a photo or two or three on here, so thought I would insert a few today.

What you are about to see if my three grandchildren and then me on the beach in Ventura... sun shining, but windy and cold.........  At least we don't have anything one has to shovel to get the car out of the driveway or parking lot.

Ready? 

You know to click on the photo to make it bigger, don't you?  That's Madison, 12, on the left and she is son Lee'd daughter. The other two are daughter Karen's kids... Emily, 13, and Brent , 11. All three have brilliant blue eyes and loving personalities.....  great kids.

My friend Ann took this shot two weeks ago after we'd had lunch at a downtown Ventura eatery.  It was very cold out, a brisk wind, but we ventured down to the shore just to make sure the ocean was still there.

That's it for the photos and this blog entry.

It's about time...

Time I put something on here.

I haven't been the best blogger around, haven't posted anything in ages ,which prompted my friend Tracey to write and ask if I am doing fine.

Fine, I am.  Just haven't had anything to blog about.  No major things going on, in fact, one could describe my life as boring and me as bored.  I need to get out and get involved in something before my brain turns to mush and I forget how to behave in a social situation.

Surely not going out today.  If you've been watching weather news than you know that Southern California is getting pelted with heavy rain, some thunder is going on, some lightening, some street flooding and the best place to be is home in a sweat suit reading a good book, which is what my plan for today will be.  Well, might toss in a load of wash just to feel busy.

My social engagements this week consisted of two trips to Honda. My CRV is 10 years old and has 43,000 miles which  tells you that since I moved to Ventura I haven't done much driving, nor have I had the car serviced. My son in law , Dustin, told me it is time to take the car to Honda to make sure everything is right with the car.  $500 later I can report everything is going right.  Actually the car is in great shape, just needed a brake and power steering flush plus all the things that are listed in the mid-level $219 service package.  I'm good now until 47,000 miles which could be years from now.  Eventually son Lee and I are going car shopping. Not that there is anything wrong with my Honda, or that it has too many miles, but more because it has the most uncomfortable driver seat in the world.   I drive around with two pillows to ward off a stiff back, stiff neck and sore bottom. 

I've been eyeballing the Ford Escape. Looks like it has a good seat.  Anyone drive one?

Heath Ledger.  Sad event, true.  Listening to all the news reports and I thought to myself if I suddenly died of natural causes and investigators came in here, they could say it was likely a drug overdose. I have many of the same prescriptions Heath did in my medicine cabinet.  Don't we all have some? I've got a $20 bill, too, and some white powder spilled on my bathroom counter which is not drugs but powder...... I'm ashamed of the media and many of the conclusions they jumped to assume. 

Here at the active senior living home?  The most activity is the almost revolving door action of people either dying or moving to assisted living and then another 85 or 94 year old moving in to fill that vacancy.  It is sad for me to see those I have learned to love having memory loss, confusion, or serious health issues.  We do have two folks in their late 90's who are sharp still, driving still, and with active social lives, still involved in groups they belonged to here long before they felt they could or shouldn't live alone anymore.  But over all, those I tend to visit with every day end up telling me the same stories they told me yesterday, or the day before, or the day before that.  I try to act like I never heard that tale before, but I can feel myself gritting my teeth.  Ain't good.

When I go out I always drive around a bit , checking out neighborhoods. Ran across one just blocks from here that I like, a condo complex with lots of open space and grass and my one request -- two car garages.  One rental came up on Craig's list and I was going to go look at it, but my son Lee sent me a long email saying how he would worry about me living alone again, how even though I don't fancy living here, at least there is a dining room with food if I don't want to cook and if I didn't feel well, there is that option of room service and there are people here who would and do watch out for me.  So it is a safety thing for the mind of my kids, but oh how I often have a desire to cook a decent meal, putter in a garden, park my car in a garage, have more space, a guest room so pals could come visit from the desert or Walla Walla.  After my next PET scan I will give it more serious thought.

Trips?

Thought about going back to PS for a week or so to visit pals, but my gosh the rents are so high, even the elcheapo hotels are over $200 a night in the season.  Glad I didn't go this month cus my friend Lori tells me it has been very cold in the desert, too. Not the rain, but surely not warm weather.  Checked out places for FEB, but again prices are high or there are no vacancies.  Will think about going in March.

Then I thought about a real trip , you know like a cruise, or going somewhere terrific, but being a single it means paying double.  Made me miss my Mom all the more. She was always up for a trip, she was fun to share quarters with, and traveling with her was always such a delight.  And, about now is when I would be in Seattle for a visit with her, so my heart has been a bit sad this last week and it seems I have dreamed of Mom every night.  I'm thinking that in May, if I am well, of going to Walla Walla and putting flowers on her grave for her  birthday.  I always spent her birthday with her.  The sad part of her being buried so far away is not being able to go to the grave site all the time. Now I know how she felt with her parents buried in Spokane, WA and she living miles away in either Palm Springs or Seattle.

I know what you are going to tell me, how a cruise line with pair you up with a room mate or I should ask a gal pal to go with me on a trip.  I don't like, in my senior years, to share a bathroom, or even a bedroom. Never minded with Mom, but do mind with other people.  I think I would turn down any offers from Robert Redford just because I have gotten so spoiled in my single years of not having to share a bathroom.... not sharing a bedroom with someone who wants the t.v. on all night long kind of thing.

When I lost 20 lbs during radiation and chemo, I was sure it would come back. But, I've never gained back the weight and have a lot of muscle mass loss.  I need to build back up my bony legs, they look bad, so I never put on a skirt.  Should I join a gym and work with a personal trainer?  We have a gym in this building.  No trainer, though.  I may go check out the machines and see if there is something that looks like it would give me power house legs again.

I try to gain weight, but all the ice cream and eating a croissant every day isn't packing it on.  On the good side of the ledger, I haven't lost any more weight , but listen, weighting in at 110 pounds is a bit embarrassing. The last time I weighed that I must have been 14.  Any suggestions?  All the magazines I pick up have features on losing weight, but none on putting it on.... and no, candy doesn't interest me, seemed to have lost my sweet tooth in all that treatment.  Used to love desert and now mostly order a yogurt for desert. Maybe if they made decent pies here I could gain weight.

Suggestions on a trip, ( I have over 100,00 air miles I can use)  a diet, all are welcome!

If you were sitting here now, your suggestion would be that I go get a hot shower, get dressed, go read the morning edition of the LA Times........... so that is what I shall go do. 

That's it for this Sunday in January......

 

The News on Friday...

Let the good times roll!

Gather round, raise your voices in a cheer.  How come?  Well, yesterday, for the first time since 1995 an oncologist looked at me and said these magic words..." I don't see any reason to do a Pet scan now..."

Huh?  Did I hear her right?  Whew!

I see the doctor again in six weeks, but for now, I can relax, carry on with out feeling that nervous stomach that goes along with having a scan and the anxiety waiting for results.

My neck looked fine, she said, no signs of any nodes doing bad things. Ditto for under the arms.   I didn't gain any weight, nor did I lose any.  Still have no fat on me, still underweight, but I'm not losing which was a good sign.  I do try hard to gain weight, but food often doesn't appeal to me, or the eating is difficult ( that swallowing problem carry over from radiation).  One of the things that is getting better is I am having some more taste buds -- for the longest time everything tasted like cardboard..with the quality of the food here at " the home" so poor, was never sure if it was my taste buds or just their crappy food.  Doctor verified it is my taste buds!

The ongoing cough?  That will still be ongoing.  Has to do with my now narrow throat , the low level of saliva - well, that is more info than you need to know. The bottom line, is no PET scan for now and that's the reason to cheer.

Another reason to cheer..

There's  a new book out, well, actually it has been out a couple of months... title is " Hollywood and Crime" and it is a collection of short stories written by the best mystery writers in the business.  My son Lee is one of those who wrote a story for the book and he was singled out in the review in yesterday's LA Times  -- they loved his story!  Gotta agree, the kid can write, and he is one funny guy.  Go get the book, you'll enjoy it.

Another early celebration..

Tonight, here at " the home" we are having a dance. I know, with so many people using walkers or canes, a dance seems to be a stupid idea.  It's an early New Year's Eve, which also seems rather silly but the good news is a great group is coming to entertain. It's a bunch of elderly women who play a mean sax, a clarinet, drums, piano and sing like the Andrews Sisters.  They've entertained here before, for other events, so I will go knowing that the music will be fun and nostalgic.

Another little celebration..

With the news that I don't have to go through the agony of a PET scan, my friend, the writer Ann Shields, and I are meeting for a "Yippee" cup of coffee at 10:30 today. 

Will come back home to this apartment and try and read more of the stories in " Hollywood and Crime" before it's time to get dolled up for our New Year's Eve Early Party.

~ Jan

Travels ...

Treks in my Honda CRV...

I did go to daughter Linda's, just as  I said I would.  All the kids were there, the food was plentiful and the laughs ongoing.  We always have a grand time when we get together and on the 22nd it was just that -- grand.  Linda and  Dustin's house is charming, inviting, and we all like going there.......... besides that, Linda made my Mom's cookie recipes and that was an extra bonus.  Mom would have been proud.

The route from Ventura to Castaic where Linda lives is a pretty drive, through rural areas, past fields and farms and small towns.  It's not all freeway, some sections, known for their high accident scores have stop lights and small strip malls, so I was brake ready as I drove through those areas.  Luckily for me, traffic was light, there were no accidents.  I had a vivid memory of taking that same route to get to the Burbank airport last summer and being stuck on the road for five hours due to an accident, missed my flight -- a horror of a drive.   But this time, with Rod Stewart blasting away on a CD, the scenery mostly pleasant, no big trucks involved in accidents, the trip was an easy one. 

It wasn't such an easy drive for son Lee ( leegoldberg.com) and his family. They had taken some short cut from Calabasas, got lost and had to call for more directions. Son Tod ( todgoldberg.com)  and his Wendy hit gridlock from the time they left their driveway in La Quinta until they pulled in to Linda's driveway and were on the road for hours.

As we waited for Tod and Wendy to arrive, we passed the time eating dips and chips, cookies, and I taught my 13 year old granddaughter Emily how to play gin rummy.  In years past it was almost a tradition for my mother and my son in law Bill to have a gin rummy game -- so now it was my turn to be the matriarch and try to beat the family at the game.  Now, I must tell you, Emily, at 13, is a math genius and is in her second year at Moorpark University taking advanced math classes.  I gave her the basics of the game of gin, dealt the cards and she immediately ginned on me!  It was a tough game with only a few points between us.  We each had 123 points when Tod and Wendy arrived and decided to call it a draw and quit to concentrate on family time.  I think I held up the family honor with my playing, but it's a difficult thing to try and beat Emily!

The gift exchange was fun, always a treat to watch the kids open their gifts and the clever gifts they give to each other is guaranteed to bring a lot of smiles.

I got nice things from everyone -- books , CD, lotions, t-shirts, gift cards.

Pictures?  My little camera was on the fritz ,so I couldn't take any - -however, both Karen and Linda with their fancy high end digital 35mm cameras were clicking away so as soon as they email me photos I will put them on here.

Tod and Wendy knew they might be facing four hours of gridlock to get back to the desert, so left pretty quickly after dinner. I hung around for another hour, then got on the road.  The highway was almost deserted, and very dark and had me feeling a bit anxious cus my night vision just isn't as sharp as it used to be.  Made it back to my exit within 35 minutes!  Whew. 

I was back on the road again on Monday, heading to son Lee's to spend two days, see grand daughter Madison open her gifts on Christmas morning, and just have a lazy relaxing time -- which is exactly what I did.

It was very cold and windy, dropping down to the 30s at night.  Madison and I took a drive in my car, checking out all the holiday decor in their neighborhood and the wind was so strong, I could barely shut my car door.  Okay , so I know that those of you in really cold climates are shaking your head at my saying it was cold, but for those of us in Southern California with houses that don't have double pane windows, that cold wind seems to come right in to the house.

I came home on Wednesday , mid day, and arrived to cold winds in Ventura, too, and a forecast for temperatures to drop down in to the 30's with a high of only 55.  Hey, for us, that's winter!

Today is Thursday, D day, the day I see the oncologist.  It will be a routine visit, get my mediport flushed ,and then talk about my next PET scan which I assume she will schedule for sometime next week.  I dread the scan, always do ---  my entire life revolves around the results. Literally.

On the hope that the scans will be okay, then I can start thinking about a trip back to Palm Springs to visit friends ,maybe take a day or two and stay at the Spa hotel and get massages and facials and be pampered.  I don't even want to think about what could be in store if the scans aren't great.  I feel okay, just still have the fatigue from radiation ,the legs that get weak -- that may never go away, the doc says, so I try to compensate for that, go to bed early, not walk or stand for long periods of time.  Think a lot of that leg and back problem is not from the cancer but directly related to my lupus and degeneration of my spine. That always shows up on the scan.

Tomorrow is a holiday party here at " the home."  An orchestra playing, some buffet kinds of food, and a bit of a hint of New Year's Eve.  I used to always spend New Year's Eve with my beau, we'd go to the La Quinta Hotel for a brunch or lunch, walk through the gardens, then home to prepare a good dinner, or go out somewhere good.. then spend the evening just being together and happy ------------ so whatever is planned here pales in comparison and makes me feel a bit sad.  Makes me wonder, if I had never gotten the cancer, would I still have the beau and the good times, would I still be living in my terrific house back in the desert.  Listen, living in a senior retirement residence was the furthest thing from my mind and there are so many days I long to be with people my own age.  The average age here is about 85 and we have a lot of people in their 90's ----------- on the good side, I sure have a lot of surrogate parents!

On the chance that the doctor won't schedule my scan until after January 2, then I will head back to Lee's for two days ,spend New Year's Eve and day with them.  Their house is huge, two story , but the guest room and en suite bath are on the first floor and I love that room. It is filled with my old antique oak bedroom set, some end tables from my first home almost 50 years ago, so it has such a familiar feel to it... and it's comfy and I sleep so well!  They are putting in a new jacuzzi pool and it might be done by the time I head back, so will tuck a bathing suit in my suitcase. 

I'll be back on here to tell you how it went at the doc's today.... in the meantime, stay warm!

~Jan