I wsh I could say the reason you haven't found me on here was because I'd been on a wonderful trip , but that's not the case. It was a trip of sorts....
After a few weeks of being very weak and dropping too many pounds my docs decided to put me in the hospital for surgery for a feeding tube. ( ugh!). Once in the hospital it was more tests , more scans, more scopes and the outcome was pneumonia, a lung infection, more cancer and extreme fatigue.
I was in the hospital for 10 days and no going home unless I could manage the feeding tube ( I couldn't)and had a caregiver to take care of me. Hired a caregiver with experiene with feeding tubes and finally was able to go home.
So here I am, with the feeding tube and a feeding every 3 hours and this cargiver hovering about in this little apartment. There has been a total loss of my former life routines and all privacy. I hate it, but it is better than a nursing home which would have been my other option and that would have been a living hell for sure.
I don't have much energy, sleep a lot, feel weak and hope I am gaining some weight. I'm on three different antibiotics every day for this lung infection which imitates TB,but isn't, but is just as hard to cure. ( my luck!)
It's the " June Gloom" here at the beach with fog all day long but that is fine with me. Prefer that to being too hot with me in bed and all.
Reading? Have a lot of books but haven't felt well enough to read yet. I am just too tired. Mostly I get in bed and day dream , day dream about what it was like to be well and out and about and seeing friends and going places. The only place I have been is to the dentist. Now, that's a story , too.
When I came home from the hospital the next day my partial broke. No time for me to go out but off the caregiver and I went to see the dentist. Why did the partial break? I lost so much weight that my bite changed and my teeth were hitting in spots they never hit before. The partial got fixed but my bite is till off and driving me nuts with my teeth clicking against each other and some swallowing problems. Is this a gloomy post or what???
OKay, I'm tired, so that is it for now. Thanks to all who have written or called. I'm hanging in hoping to get stronger.
The cancer? All treatments have been canceled because I am not strong enough to tolerate them and since chemo isn't working, well, my prognosis isn't so good. I try not to think about that, it just makes me very nervous and anxious and a bit scared, too.
I'll try and get back on here sooner rather than later...
I hope your situation is improving by the day and thinking of you. The summer is going by so quick. Ann Hartmann is here to get away from Palm Springs heat. Got email from cousin Steven Copeland. Dave
Posted by: David Zarkin | July 12, 2009 at 06:47 AM
It was great talking with you today (sorry if I tired you out). Tracey sends her love and left a couple of messages for you on Facebook today.
Posted by: Ann Erdman | July 02, 2009 at 09:12 PM
I too look forward to a day when this madness is behind you. Keeping us posted online is a gift and keep your spirits up. love, Dave Z
Posted by: David Zarkin | June 18, 2009 at 01:59 PM
What a welcome surprise to read your blog again! You continue to amaze and inspire me. Much love to you.
Posted by: Tracey Schaaf | June 12, 2009 at 09:27 AM
Jan, glad that you updated your blog in spite of your discomfort. Hang in there Kiddo!
Posted by: Mike Barer | June 12, 2009 at 09:25 AM
Best wishes to you from a friend of Ann Erdman. She speak highly of you. Your "Keeper" is fortunate to have you as an assignment. Your only assignment is to take care of yourself, I would think. No pressure to read or write, just to feel better and, as Cafe Pasadena says, do the things that bring you joy. I wish you the best.
Posted by: Petrea | June 12, 2009 at 09:24 AM
Good to see you on your blog, even with theungood information. Keep remembering the crazy, fun times on all those 3rd weekends in June at SBWC. Prayers are following you from many places, especially my home back to you. I shut my eyes and see us at the Marina. Keep your spirits up. If you had strength equal to the people who love you, you are superwoman. Love and hugs, Ann
Posted by: Ann aka Sassywritestuff | June 11, 2009 at 10:18 PM
It did my heart good to catch you on the phone today. I'm glad you're back on the computer when time and strength allow. Give my best wishes to your keeper. Love you!!!!!
Posted by: Ann Erdman | June 11, 2009 at 09:16 PM
I pray things will get at least somewhat better for you. You still seem to have a sense of humor in this very challenging time in your life. As your strength allows, do the little things that bring joy & laughter to you.
Posted by: Cafe Pasadena | June 11, 2009 at 01:28 PM
I missed you online! Hope from the bottom of my heart that you get better soon.
Hugs, Ute
Posted by: Ute | June 11, 2009 at 12:41 PM