chemo canceled...

On Thursday...

I was all mentally geared up for chemo and what  I knew would be three weeks of me with no energy or appetite... and also ready to get the results of my scan, hoping it would show this tumor either gone or greatly reduced.

What I got was a shitload of bad news. Chemo canceled cus the tumor grew from 2.4 in January to 2.8 now. What does that mean? It means this chemo choice was not working. Chemo canceled while we figure out what to do next.

Besides that bit of news learned I had dropped 10 lbs putting me at 101. Pretty far down from my old normal weight of 125. I look like I have anorexia. Ugly..

And all this shortness of breath I have been experiencing? Oxygen level is normal but heart rate hovers around 130 and if I walk across a room, up it goes to 137 and scares me. So , Monday ( today is Saturday) I see a cardiologist and on Tuesday I see the lung doc.

What options are there for treatment now? Very few. Since I have had cancer 6 times I have bout exhausted the list of chemos one can use. Dr. will do some research to see if there is anything new that might work. And we are hoping I am a candidate for Radio Frequency Ablation which would go in and zap the tumor. Keep your fingers crossed on that one for me!

I go back to the doc on May 4 for a consultation. I think son Lee and daughter Karen will go with me. Don't want to be making serious decisions alone.

Book talk...

I finished Water for Elephants and loved it and now am searching for another good novel to read. Don't want to read a mystery or a thriller. ..just a good story. Maybe a good bio. Any suggestions?

Birthday..

My birthday is May 2. Hoped to be celebrating good news. Well, that won't be the case. WEll, will celebrate that daughter Karen finishes her breast radiation on May 1 and I can stop worrying about her every day. She's a tough cookie and will be listed as a cancer survivor.

Sorry my news isn't so great this go around.

~Jan

Comments

[Cafe Pasadena]

Jan, my own family experience with cancer tells me the news is often not good. Nevertheless, you have family & friends, and bloggers!, who have you in prayer, & who are with you.
And, as always, you are in God's plans.

[Burl Barer]

I was wondering about the Radio Frequency thing...I saw that on 60 Minutes or 20/20 or something. Hope your mothers day was pleasant. I thought of our mommy all day.
Have you heard anything from our beloved brother? I'm in Texas visiting Anea and Isaac and working on new book.

Love,
Burl

[susan c]

Hello Jan, I'm a friend of Ann's and have been checking in on your blog. I'm so sorry to read this latest news.

I also commiserate with you on the weight issue. When I got down to 105 on a 5'10" frame, I looked like a skeleton with skin.

When I was going through treatment, a friend gave me Cold Comfort Farm, and I thought it was an absolute hoot.

Susan

[Tracey Schaaf]

BTW, I LOVED Water for Elephants. Did I ever tell you that I joined the circus (Ringling Bros.--the BIG show!) in Boston and my mother wouldn't let me go? I did have Trina, but I don't think she needed to threaten me with a custody suit. Oh well...what might have been!
How about The City of Falling Angels? I have heard it is wonderful. If you will read it I will too.
oxoxo

[Ann Erdman]

I'm back safe and sound from Memphis. Thank goodness for Twitter! I was following your every move (and mood). Thanks for keeping me posted.

[David Zarkin]

I hope this new treatment works for you and sorry to hear that you have had a bushel of bad news. It is good that you have the blog to keep us updated on recent developments. Good that Karen on the mend. cousin dave

[Molly on Whidbey]

Florence A. and I send a ton of encouragement. White gloves and hats will follow!
xoxo Moll

[Tracey Schaaf]

What a PAIN after all you've been through. You can do it, though, I have no doubt. Don't be discouraged and just forge ahead. Never, ever, look back. We are all right there with you, kiddo.
Much love and nothing blue skies for you.

[Mike Barer]

You'll beat it!

[Ute]

I keep my fingers crossed for you that Radio Frequency Ablation will work for you!
Keep strong! Keep on thinking optimistic!
Love, Ute